What About Shame?

In one sense, shame is a bad thing. In another sense, shame is useful. But what is shame? Where does it come from? And how can we mitigate it?

The concept of shame first appears at the end of the biblical creation narratives in Genesis 2:25 -

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Therefore, shame would be a post-fall reality and something that is not good since God decreed in Genesis 1:31- And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.

So where does shame come from? Well, it comes from the fall and it is a rotten fruit of sin.

In Genesis 2:16-17 God instructs the man - “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”

Then we read in Genesis 3:6–7 - So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.

Then after being seduced by the lies of the serpent, the woman breaks the command of God from Genesis 2:17, takes of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and eats its fruit. She also gives some to her husband, and he eats of the fruit as well. This act of disobedience is often identified as original sin, and it was the original sin and through this one act of disobedience sin and death entered the world. But once their eyes were open, what was their initial response to their sinful situation? It was to hide their shame from one another by sewing fig leaves together and making themselves loincloths. Now, I find that line interesting. From whom are they hiding their sin and shame? Well, there is no one else in the world at this time and so Adam and Eve try to cover up their shame from one another. And I find that funny because they sinned together, and yet the shame of sin caused great ruin in their relationship. No longer were they naked and not ashamed, they were now clothed and very ashamed.

But if you read further, it says in Genesis 3:8–11- And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”

Not only were the man and his wife hiding themselves from one another, but when God condescends into their presence they hear him and they now fear him. So what do they do? They hide themselves from the presence of the Lord by hiding among the trees. They are seeking to hide their sin in the presence of a holy God who sees all things. So shame not only hurts our relationship with one another, it also ruins our relationship with God. So shame causes them to hide from one another and from God. No longer is everything very good, and no longer are they naked and not ashamed. But everything is now very bad and they are really ashamed.

So, shame is a bad thing. It stems from sin and being in a state of fallenness. It corrupts our relationships with others, and it ruins our relationship with God. But how is shame useful? Let me answer that by proposing three ways in which we can respond to shame and mitigate its effects.

The first way that we can respond to shame is to be like Adam and Eve. We can try our best to hide our shame from others and from God. The problem with that is they knew what the other had done, and God knew what they had done. No matter how many fig leaves they sewed together, their shame was not covered up. And that is what many people try to do in the world today. They attempt to hide their sin by putting on a mask and a facade hoping that the mask doesn't slip and no one sees who they truly are. But that is not only tiresome, but it's being held captive by your sin and shame. It doesn't remove the shame from your life, it just tortures you in the dark.

The second way that we can respond to shame is to force others to accept our shameful acts and behaviors as acceptable. This is what Paul speaks of in Romans 1:32 - Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them. This is the way of the world and our current culture. They seek to remove the pain of shame by making others celebrate their shameful acts. But all this will result in is divine judgment against such acts. The prophet Isaiah says in Isaiah 5:20:

Woe to those who call evil good

and good evil,

who put darkness for light

and light for darkness,

who put bitter for sweet

and sweet for bitter!

But then there is a third way in which we can respond that results in the removal of shame, and that is by grace through faith in Christ. In Isaiah 53, the prophet speaks of the suffering servant - who is Christ - as dying to make atonement for our sins. Isaiah 53:4–6:

[4] Surely he has borne our griefs

and carried our sorrows;

yet we esteemed him stricken,

smitten by God, and afflicted.

[5] But he was pierced for our transgressions;

he was crushed for our iniquities;

upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,

and with his wounds we are healed.

[6] All we like sheep have gone astray;

we have turned—every one—to his own way;

and the LORD has laid on him

the iniquity of us all.

But then he follows the atoning work of the servant in Isaiah 53 with the promise of an eternal covenant of peace in Isaiah 54. In Isaiah 54:4–5 he writes:

[4] “Fear not, for you will not be ashamed;

be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;

for you will forget the shame of your youth,

and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.

[5] For your Maker is your husband,

the LORD of hosts is his name;

and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,

the God of the whole earth he is called.

Because of the redeeming work of Christ, our shame will be removed and we will remember it no more. The shame of our disobedience is covered by the righteousness of Christ. When God looks upon us, he does not look upon our shame and disobedience. Rather, when he looks at us covered in the righteousness of Christ he sees his beloved Son in whom he is well pleased. We need not fear him nor hide ourselves from him, but we can with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Heb. 4:16).

But how is this accomplished? I believe Paul is helpful here in his letter to the Romans.

Romans 1:16–17:

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, “The righteous shall live by faith.”

Notice, it is the gospel - the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ - that reverses the effects of the curse. I am not ashamed of the Gospel for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes. Salvation from what? Our sin, the source of all shame. Paul later writes in Romans 10:9–13:

[9] Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. [10] For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. [11] For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” [12] For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. [13] For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

The only real remedy to the shame that sin produces is faith in Christ. You can try to hide it, but it will torture you. You can try to make others accept it, but that will bring divine judgment from God and ultimately it will not lead to happiness. Or you confess your sins to the Lord and he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to clothe us in the righteousness of his Son. Confession is not always easy, but God already knows our deepest darkest secrets and he loves us anyways. And secondly, the church should be a place where sinners can confess their sins to one another and experience the reality of being fully known - sin and all - and fully loved by God and his people. If you're bound in sin and shame today, Christ bids you to come and he will cover your shame with his righteousness and you can walk in the newness of life.